wednesday, august 29th
mis-shapen friends
when i told ben i was digging the sassy and cool nelly furtado, he shouted at me 'joni mitchell! janis joplin!', like he was a doctor prescribing medicene to a dying patient. but last night, dear readers, i got two brand new ceedees, including nelly furtado, even tho i don't have any money, and even tho it was, in fact, two in the morning at the time. yeah.
i want to say right here that i have the world's most beautiful friends in the whole world. and as we all danced around last night in a club filled with townies, i thought to myself, wow, i have the coolest chums. stuart, drunk as ever, was swinging around in his tight superman tee and new almost-bald head. muppet was swaying from side to side, his knotty happy twists in his hair moving with him. rats boy, with his many facial piercing adornments, swung his long hair around as he jumped up and down to the music. lucy, looking super cool as ever, danced with total excuberance, alternating between kicking rats boy in the face and kissing him. but the whole time we were dancing, these boys were just watching us. just watching us for at least half an hour, unblinking, hate filled stares.
they took our buzz off, and after one of them tried to hit muppet, we headed out onto the street and into his lil white car. why do they fucking do this to us? i said. we weren't bothering anyone, we were just dancing. 'it's because me and muppet have long hair', rb suggested. and yeah, we all know, it's because we look different. muppet and rb don't have short neat hair, and they don't go looking for fights. lucy and me don't wear revealing clothes. that's all it is. even though i wasn't dressed in a 'hey everyone! i'm really different and super-weird!' kinda way, i still didn't fit in. i had my floral printed skirt on, rosy red tights with my brown maryjanes and a pavement tee on. but you know what the most upsetting thing about this is? when we go to 'alternative' clubs in reading all the time, but we don't really fit in there either. we're not too big into the nu metal scene, and don't like moshing around to korn, incubus or crazy town, with the kids all dressed in black. they all dress similarly and hang out together, so i don't really see them as outsiders at all anymore. we were a car load of misshapes last night.
but as corney as it may sound, it made me realise how much i truely do treasure my friends. phew for them, and ben, and tim, and mahri, and tom p, and tom, and meriel and everyone who understands me. i am one lucky girl, and i think that a bad experience made me think about better things about my world rght now. love, punk rock love, going out to them.
suds at