wednesday, january 10th
in her hips, there's revolution...in her kiss there's revolution
i looked through all my memories yesterday night, when i couldn't sleep. they're all in a hello kitty box in my room. modest mouse, built to spill, royal trux, mercury rev, pavement, sleater-kinney and el seven ticket stubs, along with letters, and photos and notes between me and lucy. i store all my memories up, and i think i always have done. i saw a picture of me and hutch at valbonnes and somethign inside me sighed. yesterday i found out that he's been really ill, having trouble with his heart, and i wish the most for that boy to get better. i like the way he says things, and how he always has a plan, and something to do.
being back has been a trip. i've done way too much stuff. sometimes at night i can't sleep, so i watch the past year and think about it all. sometimes i think that i've done so much stuff that i need to slow the fuck down, and other times i think that i haven't done enough. not nearly enough. it is my ambition to travl the entire world after i finish at sussex.
in india, i talked to this beautiful travelling grrl who said to me,'i'm working my way around the world, sophie' as we sat on the deserted white sand. 'what about university?' i asked her, admiring her bravery. 'see that?' she said, bitterly, pointing at the sun sinking slowly behind the huge sea, the sky turning pink like it was burning at the edges; 'thats my fucking university.' and thats when i decided i was going to do both. i was going to go the geeky way and the fun way. and maybe then i'd experience it all for real.
time is a one way track and i am not coming back. i think that song is one of the most depressing songs pavement ever wrote. fuck knows what s.m jenkins's solo stuff will be like. me and j discuss it sometimes, we're not all that hopeful.
so, today me and stuart and lucy went shopping in reading. and we actually bought some stuff, too, which is weird for us. i got some tights. go me. stuart got a clamp on his car wheel because our karma fell against us as we stayed too long in the free car park. this did not stop him from playing madonnna and kylie hits on the way home. i feel truely happy to be around such good friends, so i do.
suds at