wednesday september 4th
the top ten review
my review of the top ten
10. starry eyed surprise by paul oakenfold
i sold a lot of copies of this at the record store last week. i don't get it because it's really bad and sounds like it was made in 1993. the man from crazy town sings on this song and is also often featured in tattoo magazines.
9. too bad by nickelback
i don't think i've heard this.
8. like a prayer by mad house
kelly osbourne is doing a madonna cover and even though it's of "papa don't preach", it's actually really cool. her song is sorta punky plus she has joyful pink hair and swears a lot. mad house should be taking notes from ms. osbourne.
7.what you got by abs
abs was once in a boy-band called 5ive, who were pretty cool. one of them looked like a lady and liked to wear make-up. another had an eyebrow ring and allegedly courted melanie c from the spice girls. i don't remember abs doing anything cool except for dating gina from hollyoaks. in this song, abs is trying really hard to sound american which is really lame. i heard he crashed simon cowell's car: but what was he doing driving it in the first place? i wonder if they are having a secret affair.
6. colourblind by darius
j loves darius. on top of the pops, he sang this song whilst wearing a top with the word "underdog" emblazened on it. i once heard darius on radio one doing a terrible cover of "good riddance" by green day. even though this song is catchy and he did write it himself, i still don't like darius. he has a look on his face like he's always doing whoopsies.
5. dy-na-mi-tee by ms dynamite
ms dynamite is the only person in pop apart from ja rule to wear velour tracksuits, and for that she gets props. she made a wicked garage song called "boo" when she was still in school. she either looks really pretty or very bad. i like this song because it's like nothing else in the charts. this song is wistful and sorta sexy.
4. addictive by truth hurts
i used to really like this song but i ended up over-killing it. me and dan saw her on top of the pops last week and were frightened of her dancing around with no shoes on and we agreed that she looks like a man. she is far more terrifying in the video for this song. but i like scary looking ladies. i only just realised that she sings "my back is breaking from our love making" in this song. gross.
3. round round by sugababes
i wish they'd been number one for a little bit longer. the sugababes always wear sexy clothes and look very pissy when they sing. this song is, to me, about being a lesbian. they also sing: "if you hate me, i will show you how to brain me into something new. if you want me, run away now." i like. on their new album they have a song called "virgin sexy" and it's really good too.
2. crossroads by blazin squad
jon said that this was the best number one of the year and i totally agree with him. there are ten boys in blazin squad and they dance in formation on the teevee. its weird because they all seem so tough in their video, and on top of the pops they dance in formation, in a flying vee shape. blazin squad is made up of ten sixteen year old boys who are all into eminem and like to deejay. they seem nervous and confidant all at once. a lot of them look like the type of boys i used to go to school with. one of them looks really posh and the only thing he emcees in the song is "see you, see you at the cross roads". hes my favourite. dan likes the boy who says "hey you! get off the train!" the song doesnt really make any sense. when i first heard the bone thugs and harmony cover, i swear i thought it was a joke. they were on cd:uk last week and they fell from the ceiling on wires. i liked.
1. tide is high by atomic kitten.
all the girls in atomic kitten are ugly. every single number one song they have had has been a cover of someone else's. atomic kitten kicked out heidi, who is now in the sugababes, and kerry katona, who has the most beautiful boobies in the world; because they are mean. the blondie version of this is much better. however, the dance they have to this song is incredible because they dance the way my cool friend rhumella does. i feel bad for hating atomic kitten so much but i can't help it.
suds at