saturday, june 22nd
slicing up eyeballs
today me and j went to see 40 days and 40 nights, and, cooler than that, i somehow got in free. i don't even know how either, the girl working the cash desk told me she'd been having a bad day anyway, and the credit machine kept breaking. so i got to see a movie which showed josh hartnett feeling incessantly horny the whole way through, for free! the warmhearted and mettlesome side of me found the scene where they touch each other with flowers incredibly beautiful and very sexy. and the usual part of me thought it was kinda stupid. the girl josh falls in love with in the movie is incredibly mean.
and all in all, i dug it. still, on the way home i got incredibly down about my future. it happened very fast. one second i was walking home and the next i was wondering what to do with my life, we sat on a park bench and talked. then i went home, i listened to rock steady, drew, and then watched big brother three on my teevee.
at first i was caught off guard by the number of people who have filled out my survey and told me mean things about big brother three. and then it hit me: all the people who wrote mean stuff about it, haven't seen it yet because it's only being shown in england. and yeah, am i ever digging it this year. i have fallen in love with one of the housemates, who has the most aesthetically pleasing tummy i have seen on teevee in a long time. most of the uk are calling her a pig but i think she's just flooringly beautiful. apart from josh, i am alone with these feelings of admiration for her. but i digress. it's just really good teevee.
they put twelve people in a house and film them 24/7; then they put up a wall across the middle of the house with one side having a swimming pool and lots of yummy food, and the other with basic rations and an outside shower, no hot water. there have already been two escapes and hella kissing and even musical chairs. yeah, what can i say cept i like it. you would too, promise.
it's so weird when you suspect that someone has read your diary. and i mean the kind you write on paper, not a diaryland-type deal. you read it through their eyes and it's all fucked up the number of ways they could take things. in short, dear reader, don't leave yr journals lying around for people to read. because they will. and it seems rather arrogant of me to think they'd give a fuck bout what i wrote, or that what i write is important in any way but i am paranoid like that.
tonight josh is interviewing the band pretty girls make graves and i hope to put in issue #six of americas dreaming. i found out today that he is living in a house where i went to a bunch of fun, indie-rock parties when i was studying in america. even though i've sent him letters to the address, it didn't all fall into place till today. that house has good vibes.
suds at