thursday, april 18th
dead girlfriends= gay boyfirend
the line snaked round the pub and down the cobble stoned road. hipsters in their fading sonic youth tees and beat up skinny jeans waiting for the place to open. and it was raining. caught up with tim and some other friends of mine, who were talking bout how the white stripes show they went to was only full because of the hype about the band from the music press.
so we didn't get in to see the yeah yeah yeahs, cept ben managed to after a whole hour of hanging out and waiting. a whole hour of standing outside and the door-people wouldn't let him in even though his best fucking friend was playing in the supporting band. he took my dictaphone and recorded the whole show for me because he's cool like dat.
but i guess me and mai just don't believe the hype. and don't even get me started on nme. the fifty most influential bands of all time list they made up only had two females in it.
don't they know that i already hate being a girl sometimes? don't they know that, for example, the need rock and should be reviewed regardless of the fact that they're girls? don't they already know that i get mad when i think about the girls who are going to buy the paper, and think to themesleves, 'well i guess it's easier to fuck than be a rockstar'?
there are no role models for us, girls. not between the pretty coloured pages of nme. i'm gonna watch it burn. i am so enraged by the way girls are treated. we're treated like fucking idiots. we're treated in a by-the-way, pretty-good-for-girls way by the music press. allison from bratmobile told me not to care, and i am trying not to care.
i haven't smoked one cigarette since sunday. i'm getting skinner again but i'm not panicking about it. boys stare at my dds but they're all too spineless and stupid to even face up to me and talk to my face.
and i walk on in my cherry-covered tee, listening to le tigre on my walkman and counting the days till this bullshit is over.
suds at