monday, april 1st
can't stop moving
and don't ask me how i'm feeling because i'm not even sure myself. the flight was turbulant the whole way back, so i wasn't able to sleep. me and the boy next to me watched the royal tennenbaums at the same time and talked about it afterwards. i dug it a whole lot. it made me giggly and teary all at once.
then everyone slept but i couldn't so i watched riding in cars with boys and wrote in my cherry journal. i wrote about the le tigre show; and how even though i had my camera in my hand; i couldn't bring myself to snap pictures because it would have seemed rude. and besides, most of the time i was too floored to think of anything but the music; and the dancing; and everyone's faces. everyone singing along and looking so happy. and i was feeling the support in my tummy the whole time. because i live with bigots who make me feel as if i'm all on my own with my ideas and beliefs, and that night i saw a whole bunch of loud and cool and beautiful feminists. powerful.
and how before the show we found a box of clothes in the village, and i snapped up a gorgeous fifties hangbag while sarah dug out some denim crocodile boots. and meeting rachel, who was wearing a julie ruin tee and had a bag covered in cool pins. and how we ran through all the beautiful people waiting for the show to begin, so we could talk to kathleen hanna. kathleen was oh so not scary, and sweet, and told me that my riot grrrl thesis sounds good. and we're gonna arrange an interview for when she comes to england. phew.
she really is beautiful.
and i wrote about my final day with josh. but i can't write about that here, that's when the words begin to dry up. kissing remy and josh goodbye at the airport, those handsome boys turning to go back on the turnpike. as i left, me and josh shouted the lyrics to whats yr take on cassavettes to each other. because that's what we do.
when i think of my two weeks in america, i think of gossip and change and deep friendships and stability and calm. my final night in america, i went to a diner with my chums chang and mahri. and i can't tell you how it was, because there are no words. it was just. a time. it was two in the morning and we were in a diner eating and laughing and chilling and i knew i was going home the next day but right then it really didn't matter.
afterwards, mahri and me, we sat out on my stoop and watched easton ave fly by us. we were just burnt out on the pavement, so cool. stars above us. talked.
and i can't say any more than that. because any more would be too personal. just that i am cool with being back, because i know that there are some people in that town who will always, always be my friend. it runs that deep and that is what i need.
when we landed, the pilot said welcome to manchester international airport. oh, how we felt like fools when he told us the date. you gotta love that pilot humour.
in non-travelling news, i must say that my pavement bootleg works and it has the band being interviewed by an innane german as well as two gigs. i am in love with mark all over again.
now that paul has left s club seven, will the band now be called s club six? and why is he joining a faux nu metal band? and why didn't me and stuart go and see them in concert when we had the chance? but i digress.
i miss you. everyone of you. and to my friends in england, i am looking forward to hanging with you again. i'll need it.
suds at