thursday, february 21st
my beautiful hair
this is for jez, because i love perseverance.my hair by sophie
you should have seen it before, baby, it ran all the way down my back. and when we were in san francisco somehow the sun got trapped inside it and it became the colour of spun gold.
then something died inside me and it went back to being dishwater blonde and i cut it off because i couldn't deal with it anymore.
but you should have seen it that summer when me and my friends all headed down to the seaside. we were fifteen and singing all the words to 'oblivion' as we watched the waves crash in towards us. and it was all drinking all the time and they twisted by hair up into little happy knots. when i swung my head round they hit my face. you should have seen it, baby. it was cute.
now i pull it back out of my eyes, forget about it. yeah. ladybird clips and flowerclips, whatever. the boy who works in cissy mo told me my hair was beautiful last week and i couldn't deal with the attention so i left. walked home in the rain. free.
oh, but. when i had cherry-red lips and bright pink hair and twinkling blue eyes and i was so beautiful then. it was me when i was alive, when my hair was like fire in midwinter. it burnt everyone who touched it. i don't like people touching me.
i don't like my hair now. i don't like all that much now. i don't even care what i look like, i care about what i write and what it feels like to lie on the floor and hear mogwai on my stereo way, way too loud.
suds at