friday, october 5th
travelling
'not all those who wander are lost' - j.r.r tolkin
on the plane, the woman next to me turned to me and said, 'i just want to say to you that when they played the american national anthem at buckingham palace, i was truely moved'. she held my hand and she cried and it wasn't weird.
when the plane landed in london, all the passengers cheered, and that happened when we landed at newark too. both times it sounded like hope, and courage.
at first, it's awkward miss - where i don't know why i can't hold his hand or mutter silly things bout the people and the stuff around me. when i look in his eyes, i'm complete. when i walk with him, i don't suck in my tummy or stare at the floor. 'we don't have to talk at all' as beck sang.
i heard 'hit the plane down' by pavement as we flew over the atlantic. i have american bug bites on my tummy. i have an american flag and a rutgers tee. i am so tired and worn out i could cry. but i won't.
see, it's so easy to look at it from one perspective. the perspective that says that no matter where i go, there are gonna be people i miss so much i can feel my heart flooding. but right now, i'm thinking that i have the most incredible friends all over the world. they'll always be there, no matter where they are.
i don't know where i'm gonna be in a year, or what my new house by the sea is gonna be like tomorrow. but that doesn't matter anymore.
i have always wished to never have a succession of ordinary days.
and i'm gonna keep that hope inside me always.
i still got my lucky dollar, and my travelling shoes.
suds at